Siblings — When they grow up.

How grown up Siblings must feel when they meet in the course of their independent lives? — Toru Okada muses in The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle.

Growing up I had a sibling — a younger brother. My best friend with whom i shared by imaginary castles which had cabinet filled with Video Games and Fridge filled with all our favourite food. Not only this, we had a robot butler to take care of our every need — we were really thorough you see.

Every evening after school, when my mum used to go to sleep and my father was at work, he and I — we used to have this golden hour. A time and space where no one exists but us and all the magical creatures that we conjured. It’s not that we never used to fight, we were WWE fans and we had our own fighter trade names called — Zimbo-Zimbi. I was the elder one, so i always used to win till the day I didn’t and stoped playing fighting from that day.

In a nut shell I had a very happy childhood, I almost proud of how happy it was.

The saddest part of this whole deal is that my brother, who was my partner in everything, doesn’t remember any of it. Partly because he was too young to remember but I suspect mostly because there are a few parts he has blocked from his memory and he refuses to share.

I always was a loner while growing up, taking life decisions based on what people around me know best about. Everywhere I went I have always felt a peculiar sense of not belonging to the place. Somehow I survived each time. Every time I promised myself though, I will anchor the life of my brother. His will be a better guided path than mine. Irony is when the time came I was so engrossed in the enjoying my age that I left my brother behind in the shadow. Even when he reached out to me, I used to get this nagging feeling of not being there and falling severing short of being useful for him — or just being even a support.

If I recall correctly, there was a large patch of our lives where we were not speaking to each other. Just because calling up your brother or sister is not a mandate and we were getting to know about each other from our parents anyways. I guess those were also the years when he needed me the most. At times think, when it comes to our inner world, he and I are very much alike and we have both taken this part from our father. We both ended up going similar internal journey as well.

When I found him again on a much stable shore for both us, I figured he has become his own man. Someone I could look upto. When we meet now we know the things we connect on and silences that we are comfortable with. Though there are also silences pregnant with guilt of not saying enough and taking each other for granted.

When he got married he got himself a new playmate and now they have dreams that they want to work on together. What I am most happy about is how they were actually able to align their paths with each other and move as single unit. They now even seamlessly represent on eachothers behalf. I can’t emphasise enough how proud I am of this man I call my brother for the kind of partnership he was able to build.

Even as kids what we were always good at was inventing new games, now we have new versions of these games. Every year we compete on how many books we have read. We share with each other movies we liked and what we feel about it. Then there is also a Rick and Morty and Gravity Falls which makes a glorious world which is uniquely ours. So much so that when I teach my kid “ Hula Hula Ladki “ dance it’s only him and I who know what it is and what it means to us!

Siblings — When they grow up by Magicthreadworks